bruised knees

Shows are the older generation would consider concerts. Shows can be just one local band at a coffee shop or a bunch of bands at a venue in the cities. I've gone to too many in my teen years. I've had my fair share of bruises that I consider my battle wounds. Moshing is a major factor at shows. If someone was planning on attending a show with no knowledge of what it was, I would tell them to wear a padded suit.

My music selection did vary as a teen, but for the most part, I listened to bands screaming their lyrics. My generation calls this type of music "screamo". A lot of kids my age listened to this type of music, but rap was very popular, too. The kids that did listen to other types of music weren't very nice to people, like me, who listened to the more hardcore music. Parents weren't all that welcoming of it, either.

Similar to most teens, I went through depression. The music I listened to had lyrics that consisted of suicide, depression, and many other sad topics. Now, I understand why mother thought my choice of music was the cause of my depression. It wasn't, but with the lyrics it's understandable why a person, especially a mother, would think that. Other teens that weren't into the same type of music would call us "emo". Emo is short for emotional, and it's meant to be an insult. Many friends of mine did take that to heart, but I didn't care. I would always say, "I would rather be "emo" than heartless". I haven't changed.

My mother wasn't the only parent hating on the music. My best friend in middle school had to lie to her mother just to go to shows. Her mother thought that the music and shows were for devil worship. However, that is not true. Yes, there are many bands with atheist members and lyrics that talk highly of the devil. However, none of the shows my friend went to involved any devil worship. Honestly, most of the shows we went to consisted of bands with members devoted to God. There were some teens whose parents thought that shows were full of drugs and alcohol. At first, my mother was one of them. I had to explain to her that there are bars in the venues, but they do not serve alcohol during sixteen plus shows. I'm sure sometimes they did, but I never let my mom know that.

I grew out of that phase of my life, and honestly, I'm very thankful I did. I don't regret the money I blew going to the shows, the bruises, or how many times things of mine that got broken while moshing. During that time, I was just looking for a place to fit in. I was trying to find some place in the world where I was welcomed. I was being a teen. I found myself, and now, I have no need to just squeeze into anywhere in the world. To this day, I do still listen to some of those old songs. They always bring back some good times.